Sunday, November 21, 2010

Ali Baba and the 40 Triathletes: Part 1

I try not to make fun of triathletes. As Andy says, it’s like poking fun at retarded children. Also, I used to be one, and it seems hypocritical to take the mickey out of people for doing exactly what I thought was super-cool back in the day.* But then again, isn’t that what we all did with hypercolour t-shirts? And the Spice Girls?

Lisa’s Mum, however, has no such qualms. On Saturday, she was feeling extremely lively because I swapped her decaf coffee for regular without telling her and she was bouncing off the walls. We were parked at our local cafe and a swarm of walruses had descended, fresh from beach road and swapping stories about how carbon their gear was. They had taken up all the tables around us and were talking loudly and had stacked their filthy bikes against the window in front of us. We marvelled at the size of their saddle bags and wondered what treasures were hidden inside.

The sight prompted Lisa's Mum to tell me the story of Ali Baba and the 40 Triathletes. By the time she had finished my eyes were the size of dinner plates and my flat white had gotten cold (truly the sign of a compelling story). I'll recount the story here soon... stay tuned.

*Actually, I did duathlon, not triathlon, because I swim like a rock and I get no joy from people swimming on top of me in the ocean and kicking me in the face. I looked up to triathletes.


  1. Sounds like you're riding a bit unhappy there. I figure if people are out and about, cyclists, triathletes or what not, they are out and about, and riding their bikes. Why so much negativity if they're not as "euro" as you think people should be. How boring if we were all the same.

  2. boring. How boring would it be if every cycling blog/website peddled uncritical, self-affirming dirge about how every cyclist is making the world a better place. Cyclists are just like anyone else - some are terrific, some are deeply annoying and some wear tight man-bras and oddly shaped helmets and are deeply amusing. Just enjoy the light-hearted observations of a fellow cyclist and if you're still feeling up-tight, try half a valium.

  3. I found it amusing and took the post for what it probably was - a lighthearted dig at "trihardletes" :-). Let's not take it all too seriously eh.

    Look forward to reading more about Ali Baba and the 40 Triathletes.

  4. Good to see you can poke fun at Triathletes Lisa, yet you and your Euro Pro 'too cool for school' mantra single discipline roadie attitude is really no better than the attitude of those lycra bra wearing man boob trihards on their TT bikes with deep rims and aero helmets.
    You cant swim so lay off those who give it a crack, and do multisport rather than being a snobby roadie with an attitude out of a past era.
    We'd all like to see you do Crono des Nations or a prolog or even a minor race like vic TT champs on your Euro roadie....ha now wouldnt that be a joke! Get real as if you have never donned an aero helmet or used deep carbon wheels and a HR monitor, or yet when you were a beginner cyclist had an amateurish bike position cos no one had told them how to get set up properly.

  5. You need to chill out anonymous^

    For all the hatred that gets spread around in the comments section of every newspaper article involving cyclists or the general ignorance displayed in certain media outlets (anyone remember Magda??) you choose to get outraged at this?

    I think your time and anger would be better directed against something that actually poses a threat to you rather than someone taking the piss just for shits and giggles. I mean really....

    Jono Lovelock

  6. I am with Jono...

    I have read Lisa's mum and Lisa's blog for a while now and she has a seriously funny take on things ( with no maliciousness ). I won't address the negativity as I want to remain positive and wish that you keep writing your blog Miss Lisa.

    For those of us who enjoy reading your blog, Lisa do what you do best... I will still keep reading.

  7. Wow, fantastic. I note its only part one. How do you unclamp part 2 from the inner recesses of Lisa's Mum's mind?

    Would a teaspoon of say lapsang souchong slipped amongst the earl grey at the next scones/pie floater/cream tea/cucumber sandwiches sans crusts/ encounter do the trick or just produce a sequel to "Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas"

  8. I think Anonymous has their compression socks in a knot!

    He needs to take a long, slow ride (stick to the aerobic zone) and take a good look at himself.