Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Ask Lisa's Mum

Lisa's Mum is still basking in the afterglow of her fashion-inspired posts on Ride Happy. You may remember her pearls of wisdom on Jersey selection for the recreational cyclist and wardrobe tips for the urban fixie rider. In fact, it is fair to say that Lisa's Mum is held in high regard on the cycling catwalks of Milan. It was no surprise, therefore, when she received the following appeal for advice from a fan:

Dear Lisa's Mum
I'm looking for something which will set me apart from the cycling crowd. I am quite fond of my bottom but it doesn't quite look big enough in anything that I wear. I also like fluoro yellow and reflective strips. What can you suggest?
Fashion Conscious, South Yarra VIC

Dear Fashion Conscious
I have just the thing for you. Behold - the Reflective Bum Flap!

 This thing of beauty arrived in a package only last week from my Italian handservant Guido. As well as being my handservant and being fluent in 5 languages, Guido runs Le Peleton Chic, a boutique cyclery for the fashion conscious. Every so often, Guido comes across an item that is so exquisite, and so delicate, that to release it to the general public would be to commit a crime almost as serious as wearing undies under your knicks. These items he packs lovingly in Belgian lace and sends to me across the seas by albino carrier pigeon. Sometimes these packages can take a while to arrive (depending on how tired the pigeon is), but they are always exquisite. This was one of those times.
You will be pleased to know that when tested on a fleet of greyhounds, the Reflective Bum Flap made even the skinniest one look like it was packing pies. I am also told that J.Lo has ordered 5 of them to complement her Grammy-award-winning booty.
Fashion Conscious, consider your troubled times over.
With love,
Lisa's Mum

Thanks to Llama for the heads up on the delightful bum flap. And apologies to anyone working at Avanti who may have been offended by this post or blinded by the bum flap while working in the factory. If you have found a crime against fashion, Lisa's Mum would love to hear from you.


  1. It looks like off-cut material from the hi-vis vest factory. Still, if Assos started making them I reckon you'd see them on Beach Road in no time