Friday, January 15, 2010

Lisa's Mum previews the Tour Down Under

Well, it's late January again and Lisa's Mum has doffed her embroidered TDU hat and taken up position in the commentary chaise lougue. Mum this year will be ridehappy's official TDU roving reporter, a position she regards only as temporary pending SBS' official announcement of its commentary team (Mum is not pre-empting anything but she did see Mike Tomalaris getting into the champagne on the podium at Aussie nats last week and, while she is no dibber-dobber, she wishes to make SBS aware that she is available for his position, should it become vacant). Mum's key to commentary, she tells me, is that she generally manages to remain incognito around the tour village and is therefore well-placed to pick up bits of scandalous gossip that most riders would not share with the regular media. In fact, only today while picking up her daughter from Adelaide airport she and Matty Lloyd walked past each other, with neither party actually realising it. Try doing THAT, Paul Sherwen. 

Yeah, you'd want to look worried Paul

Following her coverage of the Tour de France this year, Lisa's Mum was approached by SBS to join Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwen for their coverage of the Tour de France 2010. Mum was pleased with the opportunity to impart some wisdom to Phil and Paul, whom she says are quite nice boys but still learning the ropes.


The new face of SBS's Tour de France 2010 commentary team (Mum is the one in the middle)

So without further ado, Mum presents her preview of the Tour Down Under:
  • Local media swarming around the Adelaide Hilton on the promise of meeting a Tour de France winning legend will be audibly disppointed when Oscar Pereiro rocks up at the press conference. Team Caisse D'Epargne subsequently announce their last-minute withdrawal from the Tour after organisers fail to invite Pereiro to their $250-per-head Cycling Legends Dinner. When lodging their complaint, team officials were told by organisers that 'Oscar's a great guy, but no one remembers 2006'.
  • Mike 'Randy' Rann will announce the renaming of North Terrace to 'Lance Parade' and pledge a new annual public holiday ('Livestrong Day') to residents of SA as part of his upcoming election campaign. Lance insists that the two are 'just friends' but when pressed in a separate interview, Randy admits that he is looking into revamping SA's gay marriage laws in time for the 2011 tour.
  • Allan Davis, returning TDU champion, reveals that he is much more relaxed and confident going into this week than he was at the Aust national road cycling champs last week as this time he won't have to contend with the awesome firepower of Jonny 'Long-Ks' Houston in the bunch with him. Davis stated, 'Yeah, to discover that Jonny has opted to skip the tour this year is certainly a weight off my mind. I'm not sure I could have handled his calm breathing and it really unsettles me when I am biting the handlebars up the climbs and Jon just wants to make conversation.'
  • Cadel Evans announces that he is contemplating retirement after being pantsed going up the Kinglake climb by two non-professional cyclists in their 40s (reportedly from local outfit TE) who just wanted him to sign their book.
More updates to follow...


  1. Will Lisa's Mum be available for book/blog/8"x10" glossy signings for her fans at some stage?

  2. "livestrong day" love it:) apparently i heard that Randy went out to breakfast with Lance and his missus, when she picked up a newspaper Randy did the bolt.
    Solid read Mrs Gunz, i give it 5 Paul Sherwen's

  3. Thanks guys. Carolyne, I believe Mum is signing tea cosies next week at Peter's of Kensington, does that count?